My name is #1108900 and I have been in prison for 19 years. I was arrested for murder on June 1, 1998. I was sent to the city jail where I remained until I was tried, convicted, and sentenced. I was convicted of 2nd Degree Murder and other lesser offences and sentenced to 53 years in prison without the possibility of parole. In 1999, I was sent to Southampton Reception Center to be oriented to prison life. While there I managed to get in a lot of trouble and spent a significant amount of time in Solitary Confinement. Consequently, I was classified as a security threat and sent to the state's worst prison -- Red Onion State Prison. The day I was transferred, four other prisoners were also transferred. I only knew one of the prisoners from the Reception Center -- my homeboy Shy. At the time Shy was a 17 year old juvenile. He was on his way to an adult Supermax because he had been tried as an adult and convicted.
Once we arrived I was placed in solitary confinement because I was in solitary at the Reception Center when they came to transfer me. I stayed in solitary for two weeks before they released me to the general population. I was sent to the same housing unit where Shy had been sent a few years earlier. He was the only person I knew and so naturally he was the person I hung out with. Over the next few months we became close. We exercised, played board games, talked, and shared resources (i.e. books, pictures, tapes, etc.).
One day while Shy and i were walking around the yard an older prisoner names V yelled from across the yard for me to come over. V and I were cool because he, and a few other prisoners, were teaching me politics and law. So when I went over to him, he asked me "Man, why you always walking around with that faggot?" My initial response was SHOCK. Then instantly that shock turned into fear because I knew the ramifications if the accusations were true. Next, almost immediately, I went into denial because i didn't want to believe my friend was gay. Furthermore, I didn't want to think that I could be so ignorant about something so close to me. That scared me. And so all of these emotions converged into what ultimately became anger. And it was in that anger that I replied by saying, "Man, Shy aint no faggot and that's fucked up that you putting that bad bone on him like that."
At this point I was experiencing so many emotions that I must have appeared to be unsettled, because V then sayd, "Calm down man, you trippin. If you don't believe me ask Reality." So V and I went over to where Reality was and V demandingly said, "Yo Reality tell this dude about his man." Reality with a look of confusion replied, "Who you talking about? The faggot over there?" Hearing Reality confirm what V had said made me confused. I was in a state of disbelief. Almost immediately I felt embarrassment and shame to call Shy my friend.
Needless to say over the next couple of days I learned that Shy had been raped by his cellmate almost immediately after arriving to the prison. Once i found out I never spoke to Shy again. Later I learned that both Shy and his rapist were in solitary confinement under investigation for the assault. Hearing that saddened me and made me even more determined to ensure that I would never be victimized by any "penitentiary crimes".
One thing I learned from the incident is that everyone isn't always what they present themselves to be. Just became people act like they are gangsters or tough guys doesn't mean that they are. The truth is you never really know what type of solider you are until you are on the battlefield. Second, I'm learning that I wasn't really a good friend to Shy. I was so worried about my own reputation that I never thought about the fact that Shy needed help. Rather than support him and advise him I abandoned him and further alienated him. Finally, I learned that prison turns human beings into savage beasts. Locking a person in a caged world for years, sometimes decades at a time, can damage the psyche of a person in many ways. Unnatural environments produce unnatural behaviors and prison is the most unnatural environment there is. You are away from women, kids, pets, etc. and you're constantly told what to do like a slave. Over time, this can reduce your humanity.
Questions
How would you handle recieving a 53 year prison sentence?
How would you feel if you were told that you are about to the into your state's worst prison?
Do you feel bad for Shy? Why or why not?
Do you feel bad for the author of this story? Why or why not?
What would you hae done differently if you were the author once you were told that Shy was being raped?
If you were in Shy's position what would you do?
What do you think of V and Reality in this story?
If you knew one of your friends was a victim of sexual violence what would you do?
Have you ever allowed peer pressure to cause you to end a friendship?
What have you learned form this story?